Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
