i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
