how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
