we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
