nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
