found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
