I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
