he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
