So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize