Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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