you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
