In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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