when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
