I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
