He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
