if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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