all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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