just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
