doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
