we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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