come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize