my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
