It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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