Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
