The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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