Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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