call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
