hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
