I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
