Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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