hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
