So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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