your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
