dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
