Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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