My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize