i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize