just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize