...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
