lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
