I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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