i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
