I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize