some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
