And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
