I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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