Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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