yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think i have herpe
just one?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
