Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think my moral compass just broke
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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