He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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