sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
