break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
