Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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