Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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