He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
