It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
