Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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