So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
