Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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