my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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