You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
