Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
