its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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