Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
