Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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