so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
