If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
did you just send me my own nude
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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