Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
