Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
