problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
