i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i now understand why vodka
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
