This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
