today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
