butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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