I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
