i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
