that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
