yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize