Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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